You are one today. I dreamt of the moment I would hold you for the first time. I imagined what you would look like and what your interests would be. Truth be told, I was terrified you were going to look like that scary picture I saw your of Dad as a baby – a story we will tell you when you are older and laugh about forever. I daydreamed about how we would spend our days. And I prayed you would know how much you were loved.But the reality is, that moment I held you for the first time was better than I could have ever imagined. You looked absolutely perfect and I swear you are still the cutest kid I have ever seen. You love to play and go on outings, but you most definitely do not love to cuddle. I still pray you know how much you are loved and I think your smile is your way of telling Mama and Daddy you love us too.
You have grown from a tiny little baby with the wildest hair to a little boy with a big boy haircut – and it’s also a lot lighter now. You are busy and can have quite the attitude if people don’t keep up. You are sure to let us know that your voice is still as loud as the moment you took your first breath. You are tough and you can also be sensitive at times. Some days you think you are superman and others you are as cautious as they come. You love to play with your friends but you also love to play by yourself – mostly in your drawers and in empty boxes.
I love the way you curl your toes under when trying to stand on your tippy toes. I love the way you scrunch your nose and make a sniffly noise when you get really excited. I love the way you giggle when you wake up from your nap. I love your love for music. I love the way you search for your DAAAA every morning – and my heart also breaks as you come to realize that Daddy’s work often takes him from us. The bond you two have is truly special. I love the way you arch your back when I’m holding you because you want me to throw you in the air. And the giggles that come from your tiny body when you Daddy and I throw you back and forth (don’t worry folks, we keep it safe). I love the way you hold my hand as your nurse – it’s kept me going over this past year. I love that you are much like your Mama and you have never met a stranger – I hope your love for people continues to grow and you grow.
I love that despite the challenges this year has thrown us at times, you are a pretty go-with-the-flow baby. We have traveled to Oklahoma to see your Daddy and up to Kansas to see your cousins. We have traveled to the East Coast a few times to visit family. We have taken local road trips around Washington and to Canada, and went to your first water park to celebrate your birthday! You have had an incredible first year and this is just the beginning.
You have taught us that some days you just don’t get out of pajamas and that spit-up is basically an accessory. You have taught us patience. You have taught us to slow down and to enjoy the simple moments in life. You have taught us to see the world around us differently. You have taught us how to survive on little sleep – or maybe you are just learning how to extend grace at a young age! You have taught us about what really matters. You have given us a better glimpse into the love God truly has for us – an unconditional love that words cannot convey.
This year has been the best year of our lives. You have brought your Daddy and I more joy than I can even begin to explain. We are so blessed that God chose us to be your parents and for you to be our son.
Happy Birthday, Caden Hayes.
We love you more than you will ever know. Always and forever.
Xo,
Mama and Daddy
Thank you once again, Auntie Meg, for capturing precious memories for us! More to come from Caden’s ONE YEAR photoshoot at home!
My sweet, handsome boy. Tomorrow you turn ONE. Can you believe it? I know I can’t, but we will talk more about that tomorrow. Today, I want to finally share your birth story – the day that you changed our life forever!
I was scheduled to be induced with you on September 12, 2016. We went in bright and early – to my surprise! It’s not uncommon to be delayed, but they had us come in right away. We arrived to Madigan Army Medical Center shortly after 8am to what seemed like a ghost floor…one hour later that all changed. They had started my IV, paperwork was signed, I had met with the anesthesiologist, and we thought we were good to go. But then we were told due to several emergencies (the ghost floor now looked like a zoo), we would be sent home and would hopefully come back later that day. Well, later came, and so did a phone call from one of the MFM doctors. She said that after talking with the anesthesiologist, the team decided that I would need continuous cardiac monitoring during birth that would require an additional nurse. With that news, we were told we would wait until the next day. I was heartbroken. I was beyond ready to meet you but I also knew things were getting tricky so I didn’t fight it too much.
The next day we started the process again around 10am. By 1pm the induction started and we decided to go with the foley bulb over any medication at that point because it could be better controlled and I was barely 1cm. Fast forward about 4.5 hours, the bulb fell out – and some relief came with that. At this point the contractions were definitely manageable, although increasing in intensity and frequency – exactly what we wanted!
We were trying to hold off on breaking my water and starting pitocin until 7pm – AKA – MAMA COULD EAT! I was feeling pretty good at this point except for a nagging headache. My blood pressure was spiking occasionally but my heart rate was well controlled. By this time your Auntie Meg (the best friend and photographer a girl could ever ask for) had arrived too! She brought you the sweetest little hat and book. I had my team and we were ready!
7pm – pitocin started, water broke, and things quickly started to pick up. The contractions were still manageable. I could breathe through them and use the ball and chair by my bed to change up positions. Not being able to walk around was tough, but they were not going to budge on the monitoring.
Then I started getting a horrible headache – I’m talking the worst headache I have ever had, and I suffer from complicated migraines. It was far worse than any of the contractions combined and I was desperate for relief. And because the headache was quickly getting worse, I was having a harder time getting through the contractions. Dan tried everything he could to massage my head, neck, and do anything to help – nothing helped.
Finally around midnight I started screaming for some relief – again, from the headache – not at all what I thought I’d be giving into for pain relief. I was given Nubain and that was a BAD idea. It helped relax my body a bit, but didn’t take the pain away – mostly made me feel a bit out of it on top of the horrific headache and the increasingly painful contractions.
4am – I was done but only 4-5 cm still and had a long way to go. At that point I decided that if maybe I could ease the contractions just maybe I could get some headache relief. It was epidural time. I had said from the beginning that I’d be open to it – we honestly thought I’d have to have it at some point for pain control to keep my heart rate and blood pressure down, but to everyone’s surprise, my heart rate was actually staying quite low (we’re talking in the sub100s and I hadn’t had a rate like that since pre-pregnancy). After a few attempts and one nasty nurse anesthetist (only bad experience), the epidural was in. The epidural certainly gave me some relief from contractions but I could still feel them and that’s what I wanted. I refused to press the button again because I wanted to be able to feel everything when the time came. And that I did. The headache never went away but the intensity at least went down for a bit so I could get a little rest. At that point I’d been awake over 72 hours and I was getting nervous I wasn’t going to have the energy when it came time to push.
6am ish — you decided to give us quite the scare. The staff worked quickly to reposition me and nothing was working. Finally the doctor said we would be able to try one more thing and if that didn’t work we would be headed to the OR. After giving me more fluids vaginally (I’m sure there is a term for that) you started doing better. Once you were born, the doctors told us the cause was likely because you were laying on your cord.
10am – here comes the pressure. This is actually kinda funny. I’ve witnessed many births and have heard about every variation of “the pressure is there (I have to poop feeling)” there is and many times it’s not quite time to push. Being the expert ( HA!) I am just told Dan and Megan that I was feeling a little pressure but there was no way it was time because it should be a lot worse. Again, HA! Jokes on me. The epidural had mostly wore off because the contractions were back to being out of this world, but again, the pressure was pretty mild.
I was also told that all of the COBs were in a meeting for the next hour. So what were we all supposed to do? Someone told the midwife on the floor- she decided to check me and she says “+3” well I knew what that meant but I wanted to know how dilated I was – 10 – WHAT??? I instantly burst into tears and just couldn’t contain my excitement. That was hands down one of the sweetest moments I’ve experienced – that anticipation of knowing it was almost time.
10:27am – time to push. In that moment I’ve never been more thankful for such a compassionate nurse. Nicole (the best OB RN ever!) coached me through a few pushes, helped me to tell what I needed to work through, and then when I needed to push. I was still dealing with the headache and didn’t know how I was going to get through what was about to come, but I was ready. Your dad, Megan, nurses, and the MFM were amazing – seriously the dream birth team.
One push and I was in trouble – my head was spinning. One contraction. One push at a time. 22 hours of labor – we could do it. Your dad would count. Megan would count. Everyone was silent when I needed them and cheered me on when I needed them. After only 20 minutes of pushing I didn’t know how I was going to keep going. I had been using a mirror and I remember hearing the doctor tell me to look but I couldn’t see anything – everything was hazy. I started to tell your Dad I couldn’t do it – something was wrong, but then I heard the doctor tell your Dad to get ready. I knew that I had to give it my all and on that push they helped me reach down, placed you into my hands, but stopped briefly because the cord was caught somehow, then placed you on my chest at 10:48am. The single greatest moment of my life.
I remember looking up at your Dad and not having to say anything. God had blessed us with you and you were better than any dream we could have ever had.
Your cry was the sweetest sound I had ever heard. And son, did you have a cry! You cried for TWO HOURS straight. The nurses told us that was a good thing though because you were having some abnormal breathing, so the crying was actually helping you.
After one full hour of skin to skin, Daddy took you over to get you weighed and examined. 7lb 12oz and 20.5in long – you were absolutely perfect! To see your Dad with you – the way he just adored you and instantly seem to know what to do was amazing. I’ll never forget seeing him hold you for the first time. After years of dreaming of you and praying for our family, you were here and you were ours!
The rest of the day was a whirlwind. We worked on your latch and did a lot of skin to skin. You weren’t a fan of eating at first. In fact, for the first two weeks of your life you were fed with a syringe, but eventually got it down.
My goodness, my sweet boy, you have so much hair!!
Never doubt how much you are loved sweet boy! Your Auntie Meg is such a blessing to our little family. She never left my side while I was carrying you and your Daddy was deployed, and she was there to help welcome you into this world. Because off her, we will have these memories for the rest of our lives.
The next day she even came back to document your first bath and take a few more photos of us as a family!
Caden, it has taken me a year to share your birth story because I have wanted to keep those moments sacred – and they always will be, but I’m finally ready to share them with the world. Today, it feels right. And tomorrow, you turn one. I cannot wait to share more!
Lastly, here is the birth video that Megan surprised us with. Grab a box of tissues and be prepared for an emotional 8 minutes.
My sweet, handsome boy, how are you 11 months old today? Time is flying and you are growing even quicker. These last few months have been so much fun watching you grow into your little body and personality. You are around 20lbs now according to our home scale and you are wearing anywhere between 9-18 month clothes.
^ I still cannot believe I formatted my card over your 9 month photos and cannot get them back 🙁 but at least we have some pretty special photos and memories from your 9th month! A big thank you to Audrey with Audrey Rose Photography for this photo!
In the last few months you have learned to crawl, walk holding onto things (you have taken a few steps unassisted too!), go down the stairs, and how to get off the bed/couch. Don’t worry, Mama doesn’t let you do it alone because you are already showing signs of having the lack of grace I have. You fall A LOT, but you always get back up and keep going. You have quite the attitude and get mad at your walker a lot. I mean, I’m with you, it’s totally the walkers fault you fall, but take it easy on the poor toy! You would play in your dresser drawers all day if I’d let you. Just start cleaning up the mess, okay? You are also starting to learn boundaries and you certainly try to push them. I am going to credit your Dad for that stubbornness. Okay, kidding, you get it from Mama too.
You love to play in the water. Goodness, do you love it. You are always skeptical at first but then you get made when we take you out. You love to observe people but get a little overwhelmed in big crowds. I secretly don’t mind because it means you will snuggle in close to me.
We went on another cross country trip and once again, you handled the flights almost better than I did! Your Aunt Kelsey and Uncle Sam got married and you were quite the handsome little fella in your suspenders! You got to meet several of your cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and great grandparents. You also got to meet your Mama’s best friend, Auntie Lizro and Uncle Tuck. Funny story, their last name is your middle name! I’ll never forget these memories and getting to introduce you to the people that matter most in our lives!
you also love the lovey that Auntie Lizro got you!
Your first word was ma-ma-ma-ma and I’ll never forget that moment. I’ll also never forget the look on your Daddy’s face when you snuggled up beside him in bed and said DA-DA for the first time. You haven’t stopped saying it since and I have to remind you to say Mama sometimes. You also say a couple of words I won’t mention here, let’s just say you have let me know when your diaper needs changed and when you want to nurse. You say hello, bye-bye, and ball. You also have the sweetest waive and you get so excited. You have learned to sign all done and sometimes you sign more, but more often than not, you just start screaming and give another meaning to the word HANGRY. Speaking of food, you love to eat everything besides meat. Although, you apparently like to make your Mama look crazy and not eat certain foods when you go to Aunt Lisa. I’ve had to take a video to prove that you devour your peas at home. You silly boy!
As exciting as the past 3 months have been, we have also had a couple scary days. One day as you were sitting on the floor playing, I realized you were turning blue. Your entire chest and stomach where so blue. That landed us in the childrens ER pretty quickly. You gave us all a scare but everything checked out and we left with the assumption that you just wanted to be a smurf for the day. Don’t you know they make costumes for that kind of thing? Don’t worry folks, I know I joke, but he’s totally healthy so we just continue to watch for any other signs.
One month. One month until you are ONE. How? Some days I am still in disbelief that you are ours and that you are really here. I’m just so thankful that God chose me to be your Mama and your Daddy to be your Daddy. You scored big there, kiddo! I cannot wait to see what this next month brings us!
We love you more than you will ever know. Always and forever.
My sweet handsome boy, your Mama is REALLY late behind with these blog posts. Forgive me, please? Okay, now that we have that out of the way…let’s talk about how fast time is flying, how quickly you are growing and doing new things, and how much fun you are becoming! I’m not entirely sure how much you weigh right now or how long you are, but at 7 months you were just over 17lbs and 28.5 inches. I attempted to way your wiggly self at home the day and you were just over 18 pounds. Either way, you are growing nice and strong! You are all over the places with clothes. Depending on the store and brand you wear anywhere from 6 month (skinny boy) to 18 month (long legs).
Months 4-7 were tough on you. You had colds, sinus infections, ear infections, many trips to the doctor, and one scary trip to the ER because you were reacting to your antibiotics. After that the doctors were hesitant to give you anything else, but after 3 months of it not clearing up, we did another round of antibiotics and you have been a new baby since then! You started gaining weight again, eating solids (more on that in a minute), and overall just a lot happier! Your smile lights up the room and the cutest little dimples. You have also started pressing your lips together and it’s my favorite little face you make! And ohhhhh do you have an attitude, I mean personality! ha! You know what you want, you are already fiercely independent, and you love exploring what’s around you. You can get anywhere you want rolling and army crawling. You are so close to crawling and you also are starting to pull up on things.
You love the bath, especially sitting in there like a big boy now so you can splash! You love to play with your friend Lincoln and adore your Auntie Lisa. You love your books and your balls. You made your first cross-country flight (with Daddy!) and did so good. You met a lot of family and will soon meet more! I hope you continue to travel well and love it as much as Mama and Daddy. You are trying to play with the dogs more and more and it’s quite hilarious when you get mad at them. You talk all of the time, have the sweetest giggle, and you are constantly growling which is absolutely hilarious. You love food – there isn’t anything we have found that you do not like. You are still nursing despite the challenges we have also had there over the last few months. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but also the greatest thing I’ve been able to do for you.
You are learning what it’s like to have a Daddy in the military. It’s hard and I can see that in you already, but I also see a resilient little boy that knows when Daddy is home. Your excitement melts our hearts and somehow it makes it all okay. Goodness, do you love your daddy! You two are becoming quite the pals. You love to sleep on him and it makes Mama a little jealous, but I adore the bond you two have.
My goodness, being your Mama is full of adventure, joy, and a lot of lessons learned. The last 4 months has taught us both so much, and with each passing day, I love you more and more. Well, it’s almost time to set off on our next adventure. More on our next cross country trip in the next update!
We cannot wait to see what all you do next month! We love you more than you will ever know. Always and forever.
My sweet handsome boy, you are 4 months old already (well a couple of weeks ago, but it’s been crazy town here so I am just now writing your blog post). Photos were taken at 4 months though, so Mama get’s some redemption points there! You weigh 16lbs (62nd percentile), 26 3/4 in long (93rd percentile no surprise there), and son…your head is still quite large in the 92nd percentile. You are all over the place with the clothes you can wear: some 3-6 month, 6 month, and a few 6-9 month things.
This month was a crazy one for sure! You have grown so much. I know that I say it 100 times a day, but time seriously needs to slow down. The day before you turned 4 months you rolled over for the first time and it wasn’t with your Mama or Daddy. When I found out, my heart sank, but I was also so proud of you! You are rolling all the time from your back to tummy, but still figuring out how to roll from your tummy back to your back. You will do it in your crib, but not on the floor.
You have discovered your feet and it’s pretty amazing how flexible you are. It’s a struggle to keep socks on you and you are definitely a fan of that big toe. Your eyes are still as blue as ever and your hair is starting to have a reddish tint to it on the ends. The dimples above your lips when you laugh seriously melts Mama’s heart. It may be my favorite feature of yours right now. Oh, and those eye lashes – they are so long! I know I am biased, but son, you are still the most handsome little boy I’ve ever seen!
You are also sleeping in your crib now! We truly thought you were ready and made the decision to sleep train you this past month. You took to it well and within a couple of days you were taking all of your naps and sleeping at night in your crib. You take 3-4 naps a day and you still wake up 1-2 times a night, with the occasional all nighter! You are such a good sleeper, especially now that you can sleep on your tummy. When you are awake you love to play on your mat and with your balls, listen to music, and look at your books. Bath-time is still your favorite time of day!
This month marked another huge milestone for you and I both. I started working again and you go to your sitter…or rather the best neighbor/friend/Auntie twice a week! You love it there. You are always giggling when I come to pick you up and love playing with your pal, Lincoln. I can see you two getting into mischief together before long. We are so blessed that so many people love you so well!
You were also dedicated at church this month, Caden. You don’t know what that means right now, but sweet boy, I pray that you grow up to know, love, and serve the Lord. That’s my greatest prayer for you, son, and so many others are praying the same. You are blessed and you are loved more than you know, but one day you will.
& have you ever seen sweeter baby toes? I think not!
We cannot wait to see what all you do next month! We love you more than you will ever know. Always and forever.
you also love the lovey that Auntie Lizro got you!
